I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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