There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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