If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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