do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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