This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
