Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
