he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
