Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
