he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
