how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
