I'd wear matching sweaters with you
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
