as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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