I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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