There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
