so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
