so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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