Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
