I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
