Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize