I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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