oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I deserve this hangover.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
