You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
