I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
