your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
