I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
jump out the window naked night went bad
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
