So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
