Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
