You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
