Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
