The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
