well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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