Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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