I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
