me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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