Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You should frame my arrest warrant.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
