update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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