were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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