I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize