whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
