ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
