Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
COCAINE IS GR8
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think my moral compass just broke
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
