You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
