I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
