She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
