ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
