I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Vodka?
Forever.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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