You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize