They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
