Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
