I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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