I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
