He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize