I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Then you guys just all showered together...?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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