I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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