Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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