is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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