ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
