sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
