One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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