Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize