it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
