You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
