Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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