god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
