If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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