You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
