Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
