I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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