"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
